The Inseperable Unit
Brangelina. Bennifer. TomKat. Their names combined, their relationship a unit. In other people’s eyes, never one without the other. Who were these people before they had each other? Does society care about their individuality, or are they only concerned with who they are to each other? These couples never disagree, never fight, and always support each other. Who they were before, what interested them, what brought them joy, is washed away and suddenly, it becomes all about what the other person wants. They’ll give in to every demand, agree with every opinion, and defend the other blindly before they can even process this might not be the healthiest of behaviors.
In Henrik Ibsen’s “A Doll’s House”, Ibsen creates a couple just like those famed celebrity relationships. Nora and Torvald Helmer depend so heavily on one another, they forget about what they wanted in a relationship in the first place. By writing his main couple like this, it seems that Ibsen argues that when two people marry they, especially the wife, lose their individual identity.
Nora Helmer is what every man would want in a wife. She’s kind, doting, and a little naive. She cares deeply about her children, and especially about her husband. Her hobbies seem to be limited to them too--she enjoys playing with the children, buying gifts for her family, and dancing and performing “tricks” (Ibsen, 1149) for Torvald. It would appear that the only thing that Nora does for herself is to indulge in eating a macaroon or two every once in awhile.
In Henrik Ibsen’s “A Doll’s House”, Ibsen creates a couple just like those famed celebrity relationships. Nora and Torvald Helmer depend so heavily on one another, they forget about what they wanted in a relationship in the first place. By writing his main couple like this, it seems that Ibsen argues that when two people marry they, especially the wife, lose their individual identity.
Nora Helmer is what every man would want in a wife. She’s kind, doting, and a little naive. She cares deeply about her children, and especially about her husband. Her hobbies seem to be limited to them too--she enjoys playing with the children, buying gifts for her family, and dancing and performing “tricks” (Ibsen, 1149) for Torvald. It would appear that the only thing that Nora does for herself is to indulge in eating a macaroon or two every once in awhile.
But her one vice is something that she is routinely criticized for. Readers observe Torvald attempting to catch Nora lying to him about a detour towards to pastry shop to sedate her sweet tooth, to which she responds with, “You know I would never do anything to displease you,” (Ibsen, 1095), suggesting that the one thing that brings her sole pleasure is somehow a disgrace. Even such a small part of her identity is taken from her, simply to not upset the marriage. Nora is stuck in between two very hard roles, fitting what society wants of her and submitting to her husband’s every request, and also honoring herself and doing things she’d like to do, even if it just is eating a macaroon.
Torvald too is guilty of losing himself in his marriage to Nora. Throughout the play, Torvald is portrayed as a kind and patient man who puts up with his young wife’s wild actions. He indulges her every whim, picking her out a costume for the Tarantella, shelling out money when she asks, and even practicing a dance instead of doing his work. He does all things for the sole purpose of keeping his wife happy, and showing outsiders that he has a stable and loving home. But, the fact is, he is so concerned with what society thinks of him that the first thing he thinks of when the truth about Nora is revealed is not to comfort her, but instead to keep up “appearances” (Ibsen, 1146) instead.
Torvald too is guilty of losing himself in his marriage to Nora. Throughout the play, Torvald is portrayed as a kind and patient man who puts up with his young wife’s wild actions. He indulges her every whim, picking her out a costume for the Tarantella, shelling out money when she asks, and even practicing a dance instead of doing his work. He does all things for the sole purpose of keeping his wife happy, and showing outsiders that he has a stable and loving home. But, the fact is, he is so concerned with what society thinks of him that the first thing he thinks of when the truth about Nora is revealed is not to comfort her, but instead to keep up “appearances” (Ibsen, 1146) instead.
Torvald reveals his true desires then, and his desire does not correlate to a loving relationship, and instead to what society is going to think of him because his wife took out a loan. His earnest and amused personality so present in his marriage is gone, and instead a new, self-important Torvald is revealed. Though the loan may seem to be his undoing, it was really a catalyst to separate his personality from the persona he portrayed in the marriage.
Too many people in this world let their marriage define them as a person. Outside of it, many people have no idea who they truly are or what they genuinely enjoy in life. They get so caught up in this idea of a “we” they forget to continue working on themselves. And just like those celebrity power couples, their entire relationship will come a bitter and unavoidable end. The key to marriage is to always take time out for yourself, and if you don’t, you might end up as just another song bird, longing for someone to hear your voice.
Too many people in this world let their marriage define them as a person. Outside of it, many people have no idea who they truly are or what they genuinely enjoy in life. They get so caught up in this idea of a “we” they forget to continue working on themselves. And just like those celebrity power couples, their entire relationship will come a bitter and unavoidable end. The key to marriage is to always take time out for yourself, and if you don’t, you might end up as just another song bird, longing for someone to hear your voice.